On my way
to the grocery store this evening, I hear a voice behind me in an admonishing
tone: “It’s your body. You’re the one responsible for it. You have to use
deodorant, you have to brush your teeth. It’s your friends who are going to
smell you...” As they passed, I saw that it was a mother speaking to her, I
guess, 12- or 13-year-old son.
As they
passed out of my hearing, I was reminded of the extremely controversial, if delightful,
video of a few years back by Bomani Armah, called “Read a Book.” It took the
message of “read a book, brush your teeth, wear deodorant, drink water, buy
land, raise your kids” and wrapped it in hip-hop rhythms and language. BET
played it like a public service announcement, and some (many?) black parents
were deeply offended by the language and the booty shaking. But some (many?)
kids got the message. (On YouTube, you can find at least one one, as well as
Armah and his director being grilled on CNN.) I was also reminded of a Tina Fey
and Amy Pohler “Weekend Update” skit parodying a few grown women’s attraction
to teenage boys, how sexy their green teeth, bad breath, “skid marks in their
shorts.” But I was also reminded of real (white) teenagers who wore the same
sweater, even with food stains, for days because it was their favorite sweater.
Or when I took baths maybe once a week because baths took so much longer than
showers, and I didn’t like showers. And I drank Coke instead of water well into
my 30s.
Civilizing
the human child into a grownup is hard work, maybe even a constant struggle throughout that human child's life.
Remember that mom: “It’s your friends who are going to smell you...”
I too remember the challenge of "reminding" a tween to shower, brush his teeth, change his clothes....and repeat....Thanks for the (painful) memory!
ReplyDeleteI started my week with this very same conversation directed to my 12 year old! No, you cannot wear that shirt two days in a row, didn't we tell you it smells, wear deodorant, what do you think your friends smell..... He immediately flips out, I'm getting on his nerves demanding time consuming chores! However, My 16 year old is a complete diva that take longer than I do to get ready. Good to know I am not the only one!
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