How to Become a Nurse in 24 Steps
1. Have no interest in the internal workings of the human body. Have no interest in medicine.
2. Have a spouse whose health becomes less than optimal. Weather his health crisis, with complications, 17 years ago, and his fall last year and developing disability.
3. See a therapist to handle your emotional complications to your spouse’s physical complications.
4. Shriek in the quiet room of your dreams.
5. Wake up to water leaking from his legs.
7. Find gauze bandages in a closet and wonder why they are there.
9. Make a bandage to soak up the leaking fluid.
10. Change the bandage.
11. Change the bandage again.
12. Change the bandage again.
13. Cry in the shower.
14. Photograph the growing size and number of blisters on his leg.
16. Change the bandage.
17. Think of spreading butter on puff pastry as you spread medication on the bandage.
18. Think of piecing a quilt as you position the bandage on his leg.
19. See a doctor, and another doctor, and another doctor.
20. Scream for help to gods you don’t believe in.
21. Dream of hordes of tiny insects and creatures crawling out of the leaking blisters.
22. Cover the creatures with more bandages.