Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Slice of Life Tuesday

     I'm taking a writing workshop at the moment, and today's assignment is to write two short stories, 200 words max, in 4 grafs, set in two different cities or towns. Once we get to the workshop, our instructor will have some "surprising" way of presenting the stories. Since we've been working on upending chronology, I wonder if she will have us mixing up the stories. But I thought I would share the stories as I've written them here, and tomorrow I'll let you know what they turn into.
     (For those of you who may have read my last Slice of Life, I want to assure you that things are better, not least because my husband has taken over the bandaging himself. I should also credit him with step 21; that's his dream, not mine.)

I Don’t Notice
            I don’t know who I am talking to. I don’t know whom I am talking to. Mrs. McHenry knows if I should say “who” or “whom.” She marked my 10th-grade papers for grammar. Never spelling. I’ve always been good at spelling.
            The cardboard sign I made for when I sit on the street is perfectly spelled, but I’m not sure of the grammar. “Im lost in New York City need to get to Richmond, Va. for my mother’s funeral. Please help.” Should I put a comma in there somewhere?
            I lost everything when my boyfriend took my suitcase. I didn’t notice. I’m napping at his friend’s apartment. Not really napping. I smoked a joint right after breakfast, well, it’s not a joint, it’s crack.
            I don’t notice when he takes the suitcase. I don’t notice when he doesn’t come back. I don’t notice when his friend says I have to leave. I notice when he pulls me up from the chair and pushes me out the door. I notice I don’t have my suitcase. I notice when I pawn my pearl necklace so I can eat dinner. I notice how cold it is on the street.

Whats Your Language?
            We drove into Dubrovnik from the airport. The winding road up the coast offered glimpses of the blue Adriatic, diamonds of sunlight floating on the surface. Thank god they drive on the right side of the road here.
            At the hotel I let Dominic talk to the desk clerk. Dominic seemed to inhale languages as soon as he stepped off the plane. I watched him chat up the clerk in his baby-Serbo-Croatian. The clerk laughed, shook her head, repeated some word several times.
            At lunch in the old city, inside the medieval walls, Dominic told me the clerk almost didn’t give us a room because she thought he was  Serb. “There’s no Serbo-Croatian language anymore,” he mused. “She said I need a dictionary to translate from Serbian into Croatian.” I didn’t know. I was a typical American, monolingual and condemned to stay that way.
            Dominic led me up to the top of the wall, where we walked until we could see the water. I tried to imagine the war, when Dubrovnik was bombarded. Dominic said, “Wait here,” so I watched sunlight drip into the Adriatic, the bright fade to glow, the shades of blue deepen to navy. The stone wall chilled in the dark.


  1. Oh, I love them both! So rich and detailed each in its own right. The first story has a very strong voice and tone of lucid panic (can that be?) and the second whirls me right into that sunset dipping into the sea and the impending darkness. Well done! Can't wait to hear what you do in workshop.

    1. thank you so much. Check here to see what I had to do with those little stories: weird but fun. http://redemma1991.blogspot.com/2015/11/heres-what-workshop-did-with-my-stories.html