SOLSC March 23: U.S. Medical System Sucks, part 1,234,567

            I had a colonoscopy and endoscopy done on February 14, by a doctor in a different hospital system than my primary doctor. (I’m fine.) I asked the center where the test was done to fax the reports to my primary doctor. 

            A few days ago, my doctor e-mailed me that she had not yet gotten the reports. I just spent almost 20 minutes on the phone with the hospital system trying to speak to someone who could fax the reports to my doctor. Here’s how it went.

            1. I call the center where the procedures were done. A recording offers me several options, one of which is “prescription refills and test results.” I’m not sure that’s who I should talk to, perhaps I should have pressed “all other requests.” This offers me one of the two options, so here I press “test results.” The human who answers the phone asks who the doctor was who did the procedure and directs me to call that doctor’s office and ask for Veronica. However, the phone number she gives me answers with a recording saying it is the Men’s Health Clinic — clearly not for me.

            2. I get the phone number for the doctor who did my procedure from my phone contacts. The human who answers says this is not the right office and transfers me to...

            3. Some other office, where the human who answers says she is not the right person and transfers me to...

            4. Some other office, where the human who answers says she is not the right person and transfers me to...

            5. What I think may be the hospital’s main switchboard because it rings for a whole minute until a very harried voice answers with the name of the hospital and “please hold,” where I hold for three minutes, then hang up in disgust.

            6. I go back to Step 1, calling the center where the procedures were done. This time, a human answers immediately. After I explain my request she starts to speak and I assume she is about to transfer me, so I interrupt, perhaps rudely, to say, “Before you transfer me, I’ve already been transferred five times...” and she says, “I’m not about to transfer you.” She then asks my name and birthdate (the phone ID for all medical calls) and says she will send my request to Medical Records, but “he”doesn’t have a direct line. “He”? Medical Records is one person?

            She then asks if I have MyChart, which of course I do. What person seeing a doctor connected to a hospital system these days doesn’t have MyChart? If I have MyChart, I can go in, print the report, and fax it myself.

            Of course I can do that. And remove one more task from the provider and give one more task to the patient/client. I suppose some people might find this more convenient, but I find it more burdonsome.

            That’s it for the day.

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I’m participating in the 16th annual Slice of Life Challenge over at Two Writing Teachers. This is day 23 of the 31-day challenge.  It’s not too late to make space for daily writing in a community that is encouraging, enthusiastic, and eager to read what you have to slice about.  Join in!